January 26th, 2016 Today is a big day. For most, it is just January 26th, 2016. For others, it is simply the second day of classes for the 2016 Spring Semester at the University of Wisconsin – La Crosse. For me, it is the one-year anniversary of the 2nd most nerve-wracking day of my life. One year ago, it was my first day of classes at a brand new college. Now, I should explain why it was the 2nd most nerve-wracking day of my life. The 1st most nerve-wracking day was the day I left my sweet, little hometown of Red Wing, Minnesota to move to Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. So how did I end up in Wisconsin after moving to the glorious country music capital? Well, it took teary-eyed phone calls to my mom, a different perspective on the concept of changing, and more bravery than I ever thought I possessed. When you graduate from high school, move to new state, and leave the life you’ve always known for college, you expect things to change. I, however, did not want to change. I had found my best friends and developed a reputation for myself in high school that…
During this time last year, I was waiting on an acceptance letter to the University of Minnesota for grad school. I had applied for the child welfare program and was banking on going to grad school the next year. As I worked hard on my essay, had great letters of recommendations, and a good Baccalaureate GPA I believed there was no way I wasn’t getting in. My future was set. The funny thing about planning your life out is that it doesn’t always go that way. Just when I thought my future was set I didn’t get into the University of Minnesota. I was at dinner when I got the email, “We regret to inform you….” YES, it hurt like hell. YES, there were tears at dinner, and YES, at that moment I had no clue what was next in my life. It was a whirlwind of emotions but a blessing in disguise. Feeling such uncertainty can be very scary, but when you don’t know, God always knows. So there should never be a reason to be afraid. When one door closes, another door opens. That is exactly what happened to me. TEN MINUTES after I got my denial letter I…
Tomorrow brings the beginning of my second semester of grad school. For those of you who don’t know, the first round brought quite a few punches. Anxiety, stress, and panic became my new best friends. My family worried that I wasn’t eating (because I wasn’t, really) and my friends barely heard from me. I remember sitting in a bar last summer with a bachelorette party talking to a guy about his grad school experience. I believe his exact words were “you’re going to want to tear your hair out and you’re going to feel like you’re drowning most of the time but, if you love what you’re learning, it will all be worth it.” I laughed his words off a bit saying “ok, thanks, I’ll remember that” thinking it couldn’t be that bad. Oh no, he was right. That’s what it felt like. Lesson #1: there’s a difference between listening and understanding. Through 3 classes and 27 students to teach, I was challenged to my core. My mental health was tested and my concept of self was pretty much thrown out the window. The confident, strong, self-assured young woman I had known was replaced by an intimidated, scared, overwhelmed…
I have a confession to make: I’m a perfectionist. It took me 24 years to realize this, but now that I have I’m seeing the many ways this pressure I put on myself creates more problems than it solves. It’s true, I give the world permission to make mistakes and be less than perfect but I still expect perfection from myself. It’s frustrating and, honestly, suffocating. That being said, this is the advice I’m giving myself (sometimes more than once) daily: You are stronger and more powerful than you realize. You can add brave to that, too. You are far more capable than you can understand at this moment. Just know that you already have everything you need to be exactly who you dream of becoming. There may be pain and frustration (or, in my case, lots of crying and dramatic phone calls) but you will ultimately get through. Keep pushing. Don’t give up. It’s okay to say no! Being your most fearless you means focusing on what you truly want to become, and taking offers that align with that vision. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Saying “no”, while scary, can be extremely empowering. You do not have…
There’s a trend I’ve noticed among millennial women, myself included. There’s a group of women we idolize because of what they represent and the attitude they exude. It’s the love affair we have with Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Jennifer Lawrence, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and more. We admire their confidence, their strength, their attitude, and their fearlessness. We see the way they use their voices and we love them for it. We praise the “flawless” attitude and we embrace an empowered sense of self. Then, I step away from the Internet and I see a generation of women who don’t know how to love themselves. That’s not okay. Because, really, praising these women and living life in a similar fashion really isn’t that hard. I know I’m not Queen Bey, but I have a few suggestions on how to live a more “flawless” life (and I’m pretty sure she would agree): Be bold enough to stand among a group of your friends and look different. We don’t need to be an army of the same. You have your own mind and your own style. Do you. Be brave enough to embrace your silly. Life is…
There’s a meme I’ve seen floating across Pinterest, Instragram, and Facebook the last few days. “Confidence is not ‘they will like me’; it’s ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.’” The first time I read this particular meme there was definitely a smile on my face, but there was something about it that didn’t quite fit. I read the statement a few more times, reflected on what confidence means to me, and realized why it didn’t feel right: true confidence isn’t about other people. I understand that the intentions behind the image are good, but confidence is all about you. It’s the way you carry yourself and the way you choose to treat yourself. It’s the words you use to describe your passions, your body language, and the pride with which you describe the most important pieces of your life. The trickiest part about confidence is that it can’t be defined strictly one way. There are too many layers for that. We might not be able to explain it easily, but we absolutely know it when we feel it and we recognize authentic confidence when we see it. Confidence is not about what other people think of you. And, really, it’s…
One of my favorite quotes fell into my lap while I was sitting at work one afternoon. It reads, “People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.” – Norman Vincent Peale The truth of this quote became quite clear as I walked into a job interview last week. What was advertised as a receptionist position turned out to be something else, entirely. As I sat and stared at what could be my new reality I had the overwhelming feeling that I was worth so much more than the position I was placing myself in. After just a few seconds of the words “HELL NO” running through my head, I knew that I had no other choice but to, as Mr. Peale explained, believe in what I could do. There are countless stories about the human spirit and what the sheer force of will can do to change or save a life. What’s your story? Do you have one? If not, are you okay with that? You were not born to be average. You were not born to be small, or afraid, or…
It’s that thing that wakes you up in the morning and tells you to get out of bed; it’s that feeling you can’t ignore; it’s a passion that burns for a craft you’re determined to master; it’s the challenge that keeps whispering “you can’t give up now, give it one more try”; it’s there and you need to keep going. How badly do you want it? This question has been creeping into my thoughts in the most subtle but powerful ways over the past few weeks. Whether it’s a fight song I heard on the radio, an academy award nominated movie that gave me a very real image of the work it takes to be great, or a television show that reminded me to “be worthy of being believed in”, I’ve been inspired to ask myself how badly I want this dream I’ve carried with me for so long. It’s not a simple conversation to have. It’s about taking the time to ask “is this really what I want and just HOW BADLY do I want it?” Sometimes, the answers aren’t as graceful as we hoped they would be. You can be anything you want to be. You really can….
There’s a women’s clothing store in my hometown that I spend quite a bit of time in. Not because I love shopping, but because I work there. I’ve been there for awhile now and there are parts of mu job that I love. The women I work with, the impact I can have, and the smiles I get to see. But, there are definitely moments that I dread. It’s not what you think – I don’t dread the frustrated customers or those who need more help than the average shopper. It’s not that at all. I dread the moments when a woman is standing in front of the three-way mirror, looking fabulous, and she says to me… “Well, I don’t look like you so I don’t look THAT good in this.” “I wish they looked as good on me as they do on you.” “I could never wear that. I need to hide more than that.” Or, it’s the moment when I overhear a mother sharing her body-bashing with my coworker or a fellow customer and I can’t help but feel the need to take her daughter’s hand and walk away for a few minutes. I’ve been struggling to find…
Embracing Change
January 26th, 2016 Today is a big day. For most, it is just January 26th, 2016. For others, it is simply the second day of classes for the 2016 Spring Semester at the University of Wisconsin – La Crosse. For me, it is the one-year anniversary of the 2nd most nerve-wracking day of my life. One year ago, it was my first day of classes at a brand new college. Now, I should explain why it was the 2nd most nerve-wracking day of my life. The 1st most nerve-wracking day was the day I left my sweet, little hometown of Red Wing, Minnesota to move to Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. So how did I end up in Wisconsin after moving to the glorious country music capital? Well, it took teary-eyed phone calls to my mom, a different perspective on the concept of changing, and more bravery than I ever thought I possessed. When you graduate from high school, move to new state, and leave the life you’ve always known for college, you expect things to change. I, however, did not want to change. I had found my best friends and developed a reputation for myself in high school that…
Submit to Your Calling
During this time last year, I was waiting on an acceptance letter to the University of Minnesota for grad school. I had applied for the child welfare program and was banking on going to grad school the next year. As I worked hard on my essay, had great letters of recommendations, and a good Baccalaureate GPA I believed there was no way I wasn’t getting in. My future was set. The funny thing about planning your life out is that it doesn’t always go that way. Just when I thought my future was set I didn’t get into the University of Minnesota. I was at dinner when I got the email, “We regret to inform you….” YES, it hurt like hell. YES, there were tears at dinner, and YES, at that moment I had no clue what was next in my life. It was a whirlwind of emotions but a blessing in disguise. Feeling such uncertainty can be very scary, but when you don’t know, God always knows. So there should never be a reason to be afraid. When one door closes, another door opens. That is exactly what happened to me. TEN MINUTES after I got my denial letter I…
Stop Looking for the Emergency Exit
Tomorrow brings the beginning of my second semester of grad school. For those of you who don’t know, the first round brought quite a few punches. Anxiety, stress, and panic became my new best friends. My family worried that I wasn’t eating (because I wasn’t, really) and my friends barely heard from me. I remember sitting in a bar last summer with a bachelorette party talking to a guy about his grad school experience. I believe his exact words were “you’re going to want to tear your hair out and you’re going to feel like you’re drowning most of the time but, if you love what you’re learning, it will all be worth it.” I laughed his words off a bit saying “ok, thanks, I’ll remember that” thinking it couldn’t be that bad. Oh no, he was right. That’s what it felt like. Lesson #1: there’s a difference between listening and understanding. Through 3 classes and 27 students to teach, I was challenged to my core. My mental health was tested and my concept of self was pretty much thrown out the window. The confident, strong, self-assured young woman I had known was replaced by an intimidated, scared, overwhelmed…
Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist
I have a confession to make: I’m a perfectionist. It took me 24 years to realize this, but now that I have I’m seeing the many ways this pressure I put on myself creates more problems than it solves. It’s true, I give the world permission to make mistakes and be less than perfect but I still expect perfection from myself. It’s frustrating and, honestly, suffocating. That being said, this is the advice I’m giving myself (sometimes more than once) daily: You are stronger and more powerful than you realize. You can add brave to that, too. You are far more capable than you can understand at this moment. Just know that you already have everything you need to be exactly who you dream of becoming. There may be pain and frustration (or, in my case, lots of crying and dramatic phone calls) but you will ultimately get through. Keep pushing. Don’t give up. It’s okay to say no! Being your most fearless you means focusing on what you truly want to become, and taking offers that align with that vision. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Saying “no”, while scary, can be extremely empowering. You do not have…
How to Beyonce
There’s a trend I’ve noticed among millennial women, myself included. There’s a group of women we idolize because of what they represent and the attitude they exude. It’s the love affair we have with Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Jennifer Lawrence, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and more. We admire their confidence, their strength, their attitude, and their fearlessness. We see the way they use their voices and we love them for it. We praise the “flawless” attitude and we embrace an empowered sense of self. Then, I step away from the Internet and I see a generation of women who don’t know how to love themselves. That’s not okay. Because, really, praising these women and living life in a similar fashion really isn’t that hard. I know I’m not Queen Bey, but I have a few suggestions on how to live a more “flawless” life (and I’m pretty sure she would agree): Be bold enough to stand among a group of your friends and look different. We don’t need to be an army of the same. You have your own mind and your own style. Do you. Be brave enough to embrace your silly. Life is…
Confidence is… wait, what?
There’s a meme I’ve seen floating across Pinterest, Instragram, and Facebook the last few days. “Confidence is not ‘they will like me’; it’s ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.’” The first time I read this particular meme there was definitely a smile on my face, but there was something about it that didn’t quite fit. I read the statement a few more times, reflected on what confidence means to me, and realized why it didn’t feel right: true confidence isn’t about other people. I understand that the intentions behind the image are good, but confidence is all about you. It’s the way you carry yourself and the way you choose to treat yourself. It’s the words you use to describe your passions, your body language, and the pride with which you describe the most important pieces of your life. The trickiest part about confidence is that it can’t be defined strictly one way. There are too many layers for that. We might not be able to explain it easily, but we absolutely know it when we feel it and we recognize authentic confidence when we see it. Confidence is not about what other people think of you. And, really, it’s…
What’s your story?
One of my favorite quotes fell into my lap while I was sitting at work one afternoon. It reads, “People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.” – Norman Vincent Peale The truth of this quote became quite clear as I walked into a job interview last week. What was advertised as a receptionist position turned out to be something else, entirely. As I sat and stared at what could be my new reality I had the overwhelming feeling that I was worth so much more than the position I was placing myself in. After just a few seconds of the words “HELL NO” running through my head, I knew that I had no other choice but to, as Mr. Peale explained, believe in what I could do. There are countless stories about the human spirit and what the sheer force of will can do to change or save a life. What’s your story? Do you have one? If not, are you okay with that? You were not born to be average. You were not born to be small, or afraid, or…
How badly do you want it?
It’s that thing that wakes you up in the morning and tells you to get out of bed; it’s that feeling you can’t ignore; it’s a passion that burns for a craft you’re determined to master; it’s the challenge that keeps whispering “you can’t give up now, give it one more try”; it’s there and you need to keep going. How badly do you want it? This question has been creeping into my thoughts in the most subtle but powerful ways over the past few weeks. Whether it’s a fight song I heard on the radio, an academy award nominated movie that gave me a very real image of the work it takes to be great, or a television show that reminded me to “be worthy of being believed in”, I’ve been inspired to ask myself how badly I want this dream I’ve carried with me for so long. It’s not a simple conversation to have. It’s about taking the time to ask “is this really what I want and just HOW BADLY do I want it?” Sometimes, the answers aren’t as graceful as we hoped they would be. You can be anything you want to be. You really can….
When part-time breaks my heart
There’s a women’s clothing store in my hometown that I spend quite a bit of time in. Not because I love shopping, but because I work there. I’ve been there for awhile now and there are parts of mu job that I love. The women I work with, the impact I can have, and the smiles I get to see. But, there are definitely moments that I dread. It’s not what you think – I don’t dread the frustrated customers or those who need more help than the average shopper. It’s not that at all. I dread the moments when a woman is standing in front of the three-way mirror, looking fabulous, and she says to me… “Well, I don’t look like you so I don’t look THAT good in this.” “I wish they looked as good on me as they do on you.” “I could never wear that. I need to hide more than that.” Or, it’s the moment when I overhear a mother sharing her body-bashing with my coworker or a fellow customer and I can’t help but feel the need to take her daughter’s hand and walk away for a few minutes. I’ve been struggling to find…