Life moves fast. Days fly by, seasons change, and sometimes we don’t stop to notice. We focus on big events – the life-changers – the Instagrammed dream vacations, the Facebook-announced promotions, weddings, and mid-parade dance parties to ‘Twist and Shout.’ These deserve to be celebrated, of course, but there’s also so much to be enjoyed when you look at the little things. I’ve found the little things to be really helpful when dealing with my depression. Just like those tiny victories, the simple pleasures are small. They might not impress anyone else, and that’s ok. When I feel the cloud of gloom and doom settle over me and feel myself nicked by the double-edged sword of past rumination and future anxiety, I take stock of my favorite things – the little, easy, simple things – and it’s that much easier to beat back those grey clouds. My simple pleasures include daisies, old books, warm wool socks, driving with the windows down, a book that lays easily in your hand, snuggling with my kid, a perfect little black dress, dance parties, sitting with someone who makes you laugh until you ache, and macarons. Things like basking in the sun, splashing in…
A few weeks ago, I made a gift for a very dear friend. It was a colorfully embroidered piece of denim that said “Follow Your Heart.” Luckily for me, she really enjoyed and appreciated it. I am following that piece of advice, and as much as I hope she does too, let me tell you all this: it’s freaking terrifying. Following your heart isn’t always an easy thing to do. In less than a month, I will be graduating high school. A matter of weeks after that, I will be moving across the country to North Carolina. Once there, I will be studying Public Health with a concentration in pre-health professions at East Carolina University with the hopes of going on to medical school. From there, I hope to become either a pediatric or reconstructive plastic surgeon, or maybe something else entirely. There’s only thing I know for sure, and that’s that I want to go to medical school. This is so scary to me because I’m the first one in my family to go to college right after high school, and the only to plan on going to graduate school. My father doesn’t have a degree and my mother…
Can you remember the first time you “performed” your gender? Maybe this was the first time you played with make-up after watching mom in the bathroom, or maybe it was the first time you baked cookies with your mom and your grandma while the boys watched a game. Do you remember? Notice how these examples are taken from your childhood memories? That is because we learn how to perform our gender from a young age. Gender is not biological. Sex is. Gender is a performance that we learn as we are socialized growing up. We learn from observing our parents, siblings, extended family, community, and media. We understand what “girls do” and what “boys do”. These rules we learn to live by seem natural. As if they are simply “the way it’s supposed to be”. Truth is, that’s not true. Gender is something we learn how to perform. That is also why it can feel like SO MUCH WORK. Especially if you’re a woman. Right, ladies? The fact of the matter is, these “rules” we know so well are harmful to the development of girls and boys in a few ways. Emotionally From a very early age,…
This morning, I woke to a sea of self-doubt. Asking myself, “Who do you think you are to be starting a business? Who do you think you are to be doing any of this?! Slow your roll, girl!” What a horrible way to start the day! Does this ever happen to you? Me, too. In the signature of my email I have one of my favorite phrases, she believed she could and so she did. I’ve always loved the simplicity of that sentence. The beauty of it is, it really is that simple. If you honestly believe, you really can achieve what you desire. Belief can, and does, take a dreamer and worker all the way to the finish line. There are countless stories throughout history to teach us that – belief creates change. The problem is, we allow ourselves to get caught in the self-doubt trap. And that is completely natural. Self-doubt boils down to one thing: fear. When I start to doubt myself, I pull out my journal and write until the truth reveals itself. It always does. Fear takes many forms: self-doubt, anxiety, stress, anger, frustration, sarcasm, insecurity, and, many times, over-confidence. We fear vulnerability, failure, heartbreak,…
Being brave is is often defined as “ showing courage,” and courage is defined as having “the ability to do something that frightens” you. To me, being brave is exactly that: doing the things that scare you or make you uncomfortable. This could mean anything from facing your fear of birds to going to your boss and asking for a raise, or standing up for your rights and the rights of others. To me, all of these things make me feel brave, but right now I have something else that is constantly at the forefront of my mind… I am graduating college. There, it’s been said (or typed), therefore it is now made true. Okay, that’s a little dramatic. But it actually is true, and there’s no way to change it. I only needed three more credits to graduate and I took nine, so something crazy will have to happen to cause me not to graduate. I’m on the fast track to adulthood, less than a month left and then it’s all over. Jeez, four years of college went by so fast all of a sudden. So, you might be asking: what does that have to do with being brave?…
Hey, all. Depression is hard. It’s really, really hard. Someday maybe I’ll write about what the depths of what that actually felt like, but lately I’ve been working to see that sunshine and focus on the positive. I’m working on winning my tiny victories. When you’re fighting depression, the smallest thing is overwhelming. I was too tired and worn out to do anything, even simple things like pick up my toddler’s socks from the living room floor without bursting into tears. Tasks that seem so easy and routine when you’re healthy now require you to disembark on grand voyages when you’re sick. When I’m in the lowest points of my depression, my tiny victories are things like staying awake past 6:30pm and not crying on my way to work. However, the Catch-22 of depression is that you’re not able to see past the depression to celebrate those as victories. Now that I’m learning how to deal and what works best for me, my tiny victories look like eating enough fruits & veggies for the day and having enough energy to take my daughter to the playground after work. Tiny victories can be something you achieve every day. Little moments deserve…
Self-discovery is one of those journeys that you don’t realize you’re actually on until you are moving through it. I found myself on this journey after facing a tough breakup. This heartbreak I was struggling through took over my thoughts and held my mind captive from unlocking my inner peace. I constantly found myself stuck in a place that was keeping me from my fullest potential. Through this moment of weakness, the truth finally dawned on me. The realization that I was in control of how I want to face this challenge. That’s when I made the choice to start picking myself up piece-by-piece, and build myself up into a stronger, kinder, women. As I continue on my self-discovery adventure today, I leave you with five takeaways that will challenge you to go out of your comfort zone to build a better you. If I can make the choice to find peace within myself, so can you. Befriend your challenges Self-discovery begins when you make the choice to turn a challenge into a friendly teaching. Having this change in mindset allows for personal growth in your journey. I’m a firm believer that what’s meant for you won’t pass you…
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking to 50+ high school and college women about building a personal brand. Together, we walked through aligning their passion with their brand and practicing their elevator speech so they would be comfortable and confident when walking into the sponsored networking event later that afternoon. It was a huge success! They did great work and we all left feeling prepared to take on the world (or at least the evening). That, however, was not what moved them the most. After we completed our time together we had a Q&A session. During that time, I was asked what my greatest challenge was in my life and how I overcame it. In that moment, I chose to be brave and share my truth with this group of women. I shared my story of struggling with perfectionism and anxiety throughout my life. Since I was a little girl, I’ve always struggled with keeping myself calm and feeling like I am enough as I am. I really struggled when I was in college trying to manage academic challenges and meet the expectations I had for myself by getting involved. I lost a significant amount of weight in my undergraduate education. My…
2017 is upon us! A new year brings new opportunities, new challenges, new sights, and new sounds. For many of us, a new year is a fresh start and a chance to change our lives. It’s refreshing to feel a chapter close and start writing the next. 2016 is behind us, and we have all of 2017 to make of it whatever we choose. As you settle into a new rhythm to make your resolution a success (remember, it takes 21 days to form a new habit), I would like to challenge you to make a change with me. If you’ve read some of the blogs I’ve written in the past you already know that I struggle with perfectionism. It has shaped the majority of my life and I’ve always been ashamed to admit it. That shame I felt was just one more element of my struggle. Now I know, you know, and we can all look at 2017 at a time to do something about it. This year, I would like you to make a change with me. 2016 showed us a lot of pain, tears, hate, and fear. We felt loss and we felt terror. Our reality has…
Dating is weird. It’s hard and complicated and if you’re like me, it makes you a little nervous. I’ve been single for the last 6 years. (I’m still young but that statement makes me feel ancient haha) I’ve been on a few dates here and there but the only guy I’ve officially dated was my high school boyfriend. It was an intense relationship that was exciting but also really unhealthy in a lot of ways. Side note: If you are in an unhealthy relationship it takes SO much bravery to get out of it, but it’s so worth it and I promise you will have the strength. Feel free to email me at music.annamae@gmail.com if you need any support when it comes to tough breakups because I’ve been there. My dating life, and all of ours, takes bravery at every stage. I think if you don’t date, it can take so much bravery to be single and to be at peace with that. It takes bravery to be willing to go on dates when you feel like your heart is closed off and has been hurt. It takes bravery to commit to someone. It takes bravery to stay with someone….
It’s the Little Things
Life moves fast. Days fly by, seasons change, and sometimes we don’t stop to notice. We focus on big events – the life-changers – the Instagrammed dream vacations, the Facebook-announced promotions, weddings, and mid-parade dance parties to ‘Twist and Shout.’ These deserve to be celebrated, of course, but there’s also so much to be enjoyed when you look at the little things. I’ve found the little things to be really helpful when dealing with my depression. Just like those tiny victories, the simple pleasures are small. They might not impress anyone else, and that’s ok. When I feel the cloud of gloom and doom settle over me and feel myself nicked by the double-edged sword of past rumination and future anxiety, I take stock of my favorite things – the little, easy, simple things – and it’s that much easier to beat back those grey clouds. My simple pleasures include daisies, old books, warm wool socks, driving with the windows down, a book that lays easily in your hand, snuggling with my kid, a perfect little black dress, dance parties, sitting with someone who makes you laugh until you ache, and macarons. Things like basking in the sun, splashing in…
Follow Your Heart
A few weeks ago, I made a gift for a very dear friend. It was a colorfully embroidered piece of denim that said “Follow Your Heart.” Luckily for me, she really enjoyed and appreciated it. I am following that piece of advice, and as much as I hope she does too, let me tell you all this: it’s freaking terrifying. Following your heart isn’t always an easy thing to do. In less than a month, I will be graduating high school. A matter of weeks after that, I will be moving across the country to North Carolina. Once there, I will be studying Public Health with a concentration in pre-health professions at East Carolina University with the hopes of going on to medical school. From there, I hope to become either a pediatric or reconstructive plastic surgeon, or maybe something else entirely. There’s only thing I know for sure, and that’s that I want to go to medical school. This is so scary to me because I’m the first one in my family to go to college right after high school, and the only to plan on going to graduate school. My father doesn’t have a degree and my mother…
You Do This Every Day
Can you remember the first time you “performed” your gender? Maybe this was the first time you played with make-up after watching mom in the bathroom, or maybe it was the first time you baked cookies with your mom and your grandma while the boys watched a game. Do you remember? Notice how these examples are taken from your childhood memories? That is because we learn how to perform our gender from a young age. Gender is not biological. Sex is. Gender is a performance that we learn as we are socialized growing up. We learn from observing our parents, siblings, extended family, community, and media. We understand what “girls do” and what “boys do”. These rules we learn to live by seem natural. As if they are simply “the way it’s supposed to be”. Truth is, that’s not true. Gender is something we learn how to perform. That is also why it can feel like SO MUCH WORK. Especially if you’re a woman. Right, ladies? The fact of the matter is, these “rules” we know so well are harmful to the development of girls and boys in a few ways. Emotionally From a very early age,…
My Castle in the Sky
This morning, I woke to a sea of self-doubt. Asking myself, “Who do you think you are to be starting a business? Who do you think you are to be doing any of this?! Slow your roll, girl!” What a horrible way to start the day! Does this ever happen to you? Me, too. In the signature of my email I have one of my favorite phrases, she believed she could and so she did. I’ve always loved the simplicity of that sentence. The beauty of it is, it really is that simple. If you honestly believe, you really can achieve what you desire. Belief can, and does, take a dreamer and worker all the way to the finish line. There are countless stories throughout history to teach us that – belief creates change. The problem is, we allow ourselves to get caught in the self-doubt trap. And that is completely natural. Self-doubt boils down to one thing: fear. When I start to doubt myself, I pull out my journal and write until the truth reveals itself. It always does. Fear takes many forms: self-doubt, anxiety, stress, anger, frustration, sarcasm, insecurity, and, many times, over-confidence. We fear vulnerability, failure, heartbreak,…
Packing Up and Moving Out
Being brave is is often defined as “ showing courage,” and courage is defined as having “the ability to do something that frightens” you. To me, being brave is exactly that: doing the things that scare you or make you uncomfortable. This could mean anything from facing your fear of birds to going to your boss and asking for a raise, or standing up for your rights and the rights of others. To me, all of these things make me feel brave, but right now I have something else that is constantly at the forefront of my mind… I am graduating college. There, it’s been said (or typed), therefore it is now made true. Okay, that’s a little dramatic. But it actually is true, and there’s no way to change it. I only needed three more credits to graduate and I took nine, so something crazy will have to happen to cause me not to graduate. I’m on the fast track to adulthood, less than a month left and then it’s all over. Jeez, four years of college went by so fast all of a sudden. So, you might be asking: what does that have to do with being brave?…
Tiny Victories
Hey, all. Depression is hard. It’s really, really hard. Someday maybe I’ll write about what the depths of what that actually felt like, but lately I’ve been working to see that sunshine and focus on the positive. I’m working on winning my tiny victories. When you’re fighting depression, the smallest thing is overwhelming. I was too tired and worn out to do anything, even simple things like pick up my toddler’s socks from the living room floor without bursting into tears. Tasks that seem so easy and routine when you’re healthy now require you to disembark on grand voyages when you’re sick. When I’m in the lowest points of my depression, my tiny victories are things like staying awake past 6:30pm and not crying on my way to work. However, the Catch-22 of depression is that you’re not able to see past the depression to celebrate those as victories. Now that I’m learning how to deal and what works best for me, my tiny victories look like eating enough fruits & veggies for the day and having enough energy to take my daughter to the playground after work. Tiny victories can be something you achieve every day. Little moments deserve…
5 Self-discovery Take-Aways
Self-discovery is one of those journeys that you don’t realize you’re actually on until you are moving through it. I found myself on this journey after facing a tough breakup. This heartbreak I was struggling through took over my thoughts and held my mind captive from unlocking my inner peace. I constantly found myself stuck in a place that was keeping me from my fullest potential. Through this moment of weakness, the truth finally dawned on me. The realization that I was in control of how I want to face this challenge. That’s when I made the choice to start picking myself up piece-by-piece, and build myself up into a stronger, kinder, women. As I continue on my self-discovery adventure today, I leave you with five takeaways that will challenge you to go out of your comfort zone to build a better you. If I can make the choice to find peace within myself, so can you. Befriend your challenges Self-discovery begins when you make the choice to turn a challenge into a friendly teaching. Having this change in mindset allows for personal growth in your journey. I’m a firm believer that what’s meant for you won’t pass you…
I’m not alone…
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking to 50+ high school and college women about building a personal brand. Together, we walked through aligning their passion with their brand and practicing their elevator speech so they would be comfortable and confident when walking into the sponsored networking event later that afternoon. It was a huge success! They did great work and we all left feeling prepared to take on the world (or at least the evening). That, however, was not what moved them the most. After we completed our time together we had a Q&A session. During that time, I was asked what my greatest challenge was in my life and how I overcame it. In that moment, I chose to be brave and share my truth with this group of women. I shared my story of struggling with perfectionism and anxiety throughout my life. Since I was a little girl, I’ve always struggled with keeping myself calm and feeling like I am enough as I am. I really struggled when I was in college trying to manage academic challenges and meet the expectations I had for myself by getting involved. I lost a significant amount of weight in my undergraduate education. My…
Brave in 2017
2017 is upon us! A new year brings new opportunities, new challenges, new sights, and new sounds. For many of us, a new year is a fresh start and a chance to change our lives. It’s refreshing to feel a chapter close and start writing the next. 2016 is behind us, and we have all of 2017 to make of it whatever we choose. As you settle into a new rhythm to make your resolution a success (remember, it takes 21 days to form a new habit), I would like to challenge you to make a change with me. If you’ve read some of the blogs I’ve written in the past you already know that I struggle with perfectionism. It has shaped the majority of my life and I’ve always been ashamed to admit it. That shame I felt was just one more element of my struggle. Now I know, you know, and we can all look at 2017 at a time to do something about it. This year, I would like you to make a change with me. 2016 showed us a lot of pain, tears, hate, and fear. We felt loss and we felt terror. Our reality has…
Dating with Bravery
Dating is weird. It’s hard and complicated and if you’re like me, it makes you a little nervous. I’ve been single for the last 6 years. (I’m still young but that statement makes me feel ancient haha) I’ve been on a few dates here and there but the only guy I’ve officially dated was my high school boyfriend. It was an intense relationship that was exciting but also really unhealthy in a lot of ways. Side note: If you are in an unhealthy relationship it takes SO much bravery to get out of it, but it’s so worth it and I promise you will have the strength. Feel free to email me at music.annamae@gmail.com if you need any support when it comes to tough breakups because I’ve been there. My dating life, and all of ours, takes bravery at every stage. I think if you don’t date, it can take so much bravery to be single and to be at peace with that. It takes bravery to be willing to go on dates when you feel like your heart is closed off and has been hurt. It takes bravery to commit to someone. It takes bravery to stay with someone….