One of the biggest struggles that I have faced over the past 5 years has been learning to love myself again. By loving myself, I mean wholeheartedly believing that I am the beautiful, smart and able woman that I was created to be.   As I made my way through middle school and high school, I began really struggling with confidence. I remember being at dance, looking in the mirror and comparing myself to the girls around me. Some tall and lean, some shorter with dense muscles; we were all different, each made in our own unique way. I would sit and wish that I was taller or that the arches of my feet were deeper, or that I was ‘more like the other girls’. What I wasn’t seeing was the powerhouse of a body that worked for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; the countless muscles that I used each day during dance class, the growing brain that helped me earn exceptional grades in my classes, and the strong heart that kept me alive day after day.   My confidence and self-love only grew smaller over time, being teased about my “thick legs” and “muscular hips”….

For the past five days I have been at RYLA, Rotary Youth Leadership Awards. This is my fourth and final year going, it was extraordinarily bittersweet. RYLA is a five day long leadership skill building camp. Some of the activities we do include canoeing, archery, speaking sessions, the walk of courage, a rope course, and tons of energizers and games. Considering this was my fourth year, I had a bit of a different experience, I was the one and only senior team leader. As a freshmen I was a camper and sophomore and junior year I was a team leader. My junior year I was asked if I’d be interested in being the senior team leader. After thinking about it, I put on my bravery hat and said “why not!” RYLA is life changing, to say the least. I never thought it would change me as much as it did. I grew as a person and as a leader. Building up to these five days the pressure really set in. As the senior team leader I was in charge of everything, literally. The man who runs the camp would tell me what to do and then I would tell the…

Can you go solo to breakfast?  Can you go to the bathroom without having to take a group of girls? Are you able to go to the gym by yourself? Can you be single for more than a few months?  …..Can you be alone?   One of many people’s greatest fears is the fear of being alone. As women in this society, so many times we are deemed to be dependent on so many others than ourselves. This can come from the lack of security in ourselves. Some say it’s not okay to be single in high school, to be thirty without a ring on your finger, or to be content with just focusing on you.  We give love and we seek love but where is the love, time, and attention we are giving to ourselves?   Looking at my past and evaluating others, I’ve noticed that the fear of being alone can force us into situations of heartache and heartbreak. Maybe you find yourself staying in a relationship too long when you know it’s unhealthy or depending on someone who always lets you down. Sometimes we think it’s easier to stay in something we know is wrong for us,…

I believe girls don’t do this enough. The monthly spa visit or weekly bubble bath doesn’t cut it. Taking care of yourself needs to be number one on the list of to-do’s. With a strong, confident, and healthy you, being brave is easy.   Recently I’ve been swamped with scholarships, last minute college prep, studying for quarter exams…where’s the time to focus on me? Coming home every day from school and going straight into work until five was not something I enjoyed. Once I finished all the work I could possibly do in one day, it would be too late to do anything except eat dinner and go to bed. I lost sight of my daily workouts, I started breaking out because of all the pressure I felt, and it led to me being more stressed.   Right before I hit that “breaking point” I took a break one afternoon. I got home from school, I put my shoes on, and I went for a run. I was amazed by how good I felt. I was rejuvenated. When I got home from my run, I continued my afternoon of “refreshing.”  I took a warm shower and ended with a dead…

I’ve acquired a lot of nicknames in my life. From “Elle-Belly” to “Boo” to “Cheeks”, I’ve learned to respond to what feels like hundreds of forms of my name. However, I never thought I’d ever be responding to “Mom” at the age of 19. No, I don’t have an actual kid of my own. Surprisingly, it is my roommates who started this trend. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of college that I obtained this title, but I really seemed to fit the definition. The nickname especially stuck when I brought home a dog from the humane society! Now let me back up, for this wasn’t an easy decision! When my roommates gave me the nickname originally, it stemmed from the joy I received in caring for others. In college, I found myself wanting to find the peace that pleasing others brought me. I craved offering others my “mom” like love, and I felt that volunteering somewhere would help satisfy such thoughts. This is what brought me to apply to become a volunteer with the Coulee Region Humane Society. Well, okay… You caught me. It wasn’t by chance that I chose to volunteer my time with adorable puppies! However, the…

This is me being brave. Laying in the twin-size bed of my college dorm room. I am exactly 1,047 miles away from the place that I have called home for the past 20 years, which is exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. I can tell you now that my journey to Massachusetts was not a simple path. To be honest, it was quite the opposite. There was a lot of questions, doubts, kleenexes, moving boxes and prayers involved, but since I’m here to tell you the story, I guess I can say it wasn’t all so bad.   I never pictured myself moving across the country to go to college in a place far away from anyone/anything I’ve ever known, but I’ve found that sometimes it’s the things that we least expect that are the best teachers. For as long as I can remember, family has been a significant part of my life. My sisters are and have been my best friends since I was in diapers, and going even a week without seeing them was unbearable. My mom has been my strength and support throughout my entire life. She was there to witness my first words, my first…

Sometimes, I get this idea that perfection is attainable. I begin to believe that bad days never happen, and that every night with my friends is going to become my favorite with memories I’ll never want to forget. I begin to fall for the idea that every decision I make is going to be the right one. I build up this image in my head of how my life is going to play out – how I need it to play out –  in order to consider myself successful and let myself be happy. I start to think I have to be perfect. That, my friends, is my downfall. I’ve never been one to judge others for not being “perfect,” yet I’ve never been so kind to myself. The quote that rolls off others’ tongues when I mention the above is “you are your own harshest critic”. As a youngin’, I always compared myself to my two older sisters. They’re both talented, graceful, and admired by many – and I wanted to be that. As I grew older, I kept on that trend of comparison by comparing myself to every figure on TV, to the dancers that stood in front…

I’ve been staring at this paper for a good hour praying for the right words to explain one of the most difficult and one of the bravest moments I’ve ever experienced. When trying to come up with the words to write I feel vulnerable, raw, and emotional, but I realized letting these feelings come to light is one of many definitions of brave. The beginning of my 1st grade school year was also the beginning of the time I would spend in the foster care system. It was a time of change and a time that my brother, sister, and I will never forget. My birth mother was struggling with drug related problems and my birth father had never been a part of the life that I can remember. After being in the foster system for 2 years,  I was adopted in the 3rd grade. I grew up with a big family in Wisconsin and was lucky enough to be adopted with my siblings, too. Having very little contact with my birth mother, I had even less contact with my birth father, but I always felt like a part of me was missing. My senior year of high school, I found my…

I think bravery has all sorts of different contexts. For some, being brave is getting up on a stage in front of hundreds of people and sharing their thoughts or talents. For another, being brave is raising your hand in class, even though it might not be the ‘cool’ thing to do, or what all of your ‘friends’ are doing. For other people, being brave is waking up in the morning; getting out of bed, getting dressed and starting a regular day. For one person, being brave is admitting that they’re wrong. For me, being brave has been all of those things and much more. Being brave is this; writing and sharing my story with anyone who is willing to read or listen.   There have been so many instances in my life where I have been faced with decisions, some small and some big. High school was filled with a lot of changes for me, and I didn’t necessarily know how to handle them. My freshman year was everything I dreamt high school to be. I had a big group of friends, was involved with the dance team, my family was great, and I couldn’t picture life differently. I…

Think of an iceberg. They are huge blocks of ice that are seen above and below the water. Usually, more is below the water and we never even see that part. We only see what is in sight. The same goes with people. We only see people for how they appear. Little do we know that’s only the smallest part of the person. Just like the iceberg. The iceberg analogy has grown and grown and more people are aware of it. The first time I learned about it was freshmen year. I learned about this analogy at a very developmental time in my life. Everything was different compared to now and I credit that to how I started to view everything. The iceberg made me think. Going into high school I was very closed and stayed with my “group.” I didn’t do much without my two friends. The three of us always did everything together: sports, clubs, etc. Never would I have thought that I wouldn’t even be friends with them anymore. We all, slowly but surely, drifted our separate ways. It made me realize that I was holding back on things I wanted to do just because of them….