My college years were a defining time in my mental health journey. Had I known then that what I was struggling with was anxiety, much of what I struggled with could have been very different. With the stress of shifting friendships, joining and leaving student organizations, a newfound sense of freedom, and the strain of full-time academics, I thought it was just how college was supposed to be. In hindsight, that didn’t have to be the truth. These are the 5 things I would have done differently to care for my mental health: If I could talk to my 18-22-year-old self, these are the tools I’d tell her to embrace. Without exception, anxiety and depression lose the battle in your mind when you choose to connect with a trusted, loved person in your life. Anxiety and depression lose when you speak about your struggle, rather than burying it down deep. If you’re going back to school this semester worried about how you’ll make it through another panic attack, another day when getting out of bed feels impossible, another day when the anxious thoughts are so loud you don’t know what’s true, I implore you to take these nuggets and include…
If you were one of the 32 million Americans reportedly tuning into the 2024 Olympics, you know Simone Biles had an amazing redemption tour. She’s brought a few medals home to add to her already impressive collection, but that is, arguably, not the most significant impact she made. Simone Biles spent 4 years working on her mental health. She returned to the Olympics and killed it. What is this teaching the millions of young female athletes watching and learning from her? Great athleticism and mental health do not have to be mutually exclusive. They watched the GOAT in her element with a genuine smile and a matt-side meditation practice. She challenged the idea that athletic success must be a miserable journey. Why? Because, as she says, “mental health matters”. This is a defining moment in the conversation around mental health in athletics. Your athletes are learning. They are celebrating her accomplishments and they are celebrating her bravery in her willingness to be vulnerable. Are you? As a coach, a mentor, or a leader in athletics, are you creating a safe space to discuss mental health? The reality is, this conversation saves lives. Even if we take Simone Biles’ passionate display…
We’re approaching one of those hard days. For some, it’s a day of sweetness, for others a day of stress, and, for others still, a day of grief. I was fortunate to grow up in a home with a loving Mom. She stayed home when we were little kids, worked part-time when we were older, and never made us doubt her love for us. She wasn’t perfect, but she was always there. I know that’s not the reality for everyone. As a new Mom, I cannot imagine ever allowing my daughter to doubt my unconditional love for her. Her smile lights up my entire world and I would do anything for her. Regardless of her identity, sexuality, or the person she chooses to marry, her Dad and I will be there to love, support, and celebrate her. If you grew up with a different experience, a relationship that caused you pain, or a childhood that made you question your value, I want you to hear what this Mama has to say to you: You are loved. You are not a mistake. You are beautiful. You are important. You are invaluable. You were a blessing, a gift, truly a miracle. Your feelings are valid and your…
Can you remember the last time you believed in yourself? Can you remember the last time you honestly thought, “I think I could do that. I want to do that. I will do that.” Do you remember it? Can you remember the last time you did something without total confidence? Can you think of it? Do you remember what that felt like? How big did the fear feel? How real did the possibility of vulnerability fear? Did it stop you? I once shared with a friend my desire to write a book. She responded, “You’re a good writer but…a book? You don’t have THAT much value to share.” I once told a friend, “I would like to lose weight. My doctor said it would be a good idea. I’d like to see my body change and see the muscles I can feel growing.” She responded, “You’ve tried to lose weight before but you’re so weak around sweets. What makes you think this time will be any different?” I once shared with a friend, “I need a new job. I can’t do this anymore.” She responded, “I know work has been really hard, but what makes you think you’re qualified for…
Almost one year ago I decided to quit drinking. That one decision has had a lasting impact on my mental health and my life. Here are the top 5 reasons I chose to stop drinking.
Ask any therapist or counselor – it’s normal to be anxious around the holidays! Not only are these days loaded with pressure and preparations, but they’re also fraught with awkward conversations. When are you graduating? What’s your plan with that degree? Are you seeing anyone? When are you getting married? When are you having kids? When are you having another? Are you expecting a promotion this year? Have you thought about going back to school? I remember all those thanksgiving questions when I was in my undergrad and in my master’s. Those invasive questions are… stressful. Not only do I remember the dreaded questions, but I’m still on the receiving end. Tyler and I have been married for two years – can you guess which question I’m preparing for? On top of these deeply personal questions, there are also political ones. In my opinion, the personal and the political are the same, but, for the sake of this blog, I wanted to differentiate between the two. We, in the USA, just wrapped up the mid-term elections. Or, should I say, we’re in the midst of elections as our friends in Georgia are still in the heat of campaigns. The campaign…
Seven years. It’s been seven years since I sat on that cushioned table, giving voice to the thoughts that had, so far, only existed in my head. That day changed the trajectory of my life. The doctor was kind and matter of fact. I was trying to hold myself together, speaking with as much confidence as I could, even though I knew my voice was quivering. She turned her computer screen to face me and I saw the little dot in the red zone. The little dot was supposed to be me. The red zone indicated severe anxiety. That’s where I lived my life until that point – in the land of severe anxiety. I left the clinic that day with a prescription in hand and hope for the future. Life got better after that. The last six weeks of my life felt a whole lot like those days before the clinic visit. Once again, I found myself sitting on my bed thinking, “something is wrong with me”. Once again, I suffered from panic attacks. Once again, anxiety was dominating my life. After seven years on medication, I paid another visit to the doctor this week to review the prescription….
It was the day you woke up asking God, “What’s wrong with me?” It was the moment the thoughts were overwhelming so you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. It was the morning you spent trying to figure out why the panic was there at the same time you had to calm yourself. It was the day you googled “what is wrong with me?” It was the journal entry that made you realize even talking about the shame would leave you feeling shameful, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the thought “someone has it worse than me, I should be grateful” playing on repeat. Maybe it was the day that made you feel like even leaving bed was too much to ask. Those moments, those heavy days, they’re really hard. I know, I’ve been there. It feels like you’re lifting the weight of your entire life, feeling the decades stack upon each other as the future grows darker. You think to yourself, “I can’t keep going like this. If the rest is going to be this hard, I can’t keep going like this. I need help.” I wish I could make you see how…
“I would have dumped you if you ever said that to me.” Those were the exact words I said when asked, “what would you have done if I ever said to you the things you say to yourself?” My response echoed in my head as my Husband continued to prove his point. “I would have dumped him,” I thought. “If he said any of the things I say to myself, I would have dumped him”. It was the next question I asked myself that felt like a personal breakthrough. “If I would have ended the relationship with him for treating me like this, why do I allow myself to treat me like this? Why do I allow these thoughts to play on repeat, and believe them like an absolute? I would never say these things to a friend and I would not allow them to be said to me. So, why, why do I treat myself worse than any other relationship I hold dear? Ouch. That one hurt. It was a breakthrough as I’d never taken a look at it that way, but it never feels good to know that the most painful relationship I really have… is with myself….
How to hack your mental health this semester
My college years were a defining time in my mental health journey. Had I known then that what I was struggling with was anxiety, much of what I struggled with could have been very different. With the stress of shifting friendships, joining and leaving student organizations, a newfound sense of freedom, and the strain of full-time academics, I thought it was just how college was supposed to be. In hindsight, that didn’t have to be the truth. These are the 5 things I would have done differently to care for my mental health: If I could talk to my 18-22-year-old self, these are the tools I’d tell her to embrace. Without exception, anxiety and depression lose the battle in your mind when you choose to connect with a trusted, loved person in your life. Anxiety and depression lose when you speak about your struggle, rather than burying it down deep. If you’re going back to school this semester worried about how you’ll make it through another panic attack, another day when getting out of bed feels impossible, another day when the anxious thoughts are so loud you don’t know what’s true, I implore you to take these nuggets and include…
Your student-athletes are watching Simone Biles. Are you?
If you were one of the 32 million Americans reportedly tuning into the 2024 Olympics, you know Simone Biles had an amazing redemption tour. She’s brought a few medals home to add to her already impressive collection, but that is, arguably, not the most significant impact she made. Simone Biles spent 4 years working on her mental health. She returned to the Olympics and killed it. What is this teaching the millions of young female athletes watching and learning from her? Great athleticism and mental health do not have to be mutually exclusive. They watched the GOAT in her element with a genuine smile and a matt-side meditation practice. She challenged the idea that athletic success must be a miserable journey. Why? Because, as she says, “mental health matters”. This is a defining moment in the conversation around mental health in athletics. Your athletes are learning. They are celebrating her accomplishments and they are celebrating her bravery in her willingness to be vulnerable. Are you? As a coach, a mentor, or a leader in athletics, are you creating a safe space to discuss mental health? The reality is, this conversation saves lives. Even if we take Simone Biles’ passionate display…
A note on Mother’s Day
We’re approaching one of those hard days. For some, it’s a day of sweetness, for others a day of stress, and, for others still, a day of grief. I was fortunate to grow up in a home with a loving Mom. She stayed home when we were little kids, worked part-time when we were older, and never made us doubt her love for us. She wasn’t perfect, but she was always there. I know that’s not the reality for everyone. As a new Mom, I cannot imagine ever allowing my daughter to doubt my unconditional love for her. Her smile lights up my entire world and I would do anything for her. Regardless of her identity, sexuality, or the person she chooses to marry, her Dad and I will be there to love, support, and celebrate her. If you grew up with a different experience, a relationship that caused you pain, or a childhood that made you question your value, I want you to hear what this Mama has to say to you: You are loved. You are not a mistake. You are beautiful. You are important. You are invaluable. You were a blessing, a gift, truly a miracle. Your feelings are valid and your…
Coffee with the voice of negativity
Can you remember the last time you believed in yourself? Can you remember the last time you honestly thought, “I think I could do that. I want to do that. I will do that.” Do you remember it? Can you remember the last time you did something without total confidence? Can you think of it? Do you remember what that felt like? How big did the fear feel? How real did the possibility of vulnerability fear? Did it stop you? I once shared with a friend my desire to write a book. She responded, “You’re a good writer but…a book? You don’t have THAT much value to share.” I once told a friend, “I would like to lose weight. My doctor said it would be a good idea. I’d like to see my body change and see the muscles I can feel growing.” She responded, “You’ve tried to lose weight before but you’re so weak around sweets. What makes you think this time will be any different?” I once shared with a friend, “I need a new job. I can’t do this anymore.” She responded, “I know work has been really hard, but what makes you think you’re qualified for…
I chose to quit drinking- here’s why
Almost one year ago I decided to quit drinking. That one decision has had a lasting impact on my mental health and my life. Here are the top 5 reasons I chose to stop drinking.
How to Ease Holiday Anxiety
Ask any therapist or counselor – it’s normal to be anxious around the holidays! Not only are these days loaded with pressure and preparations, but they’re also fraught with awkward conversations. When are you graduating? What’s your plan with that degree? Are you seeing anyone? When are you getting married? When are you having kids? When are you having another? Are you expecting a promotion this year? Have you thought about going back to school? I remember all those thanksgiving questions when I was in my undergrad and in my master’s. Those invasive questions are… stressful. Not only do I remember the dreaded questions, but I’m still on the receiving end. Tyler and I have been married for two years – can you guess which question I’m preparing for? On top of these deeply personal questions, there are also political ones. In my opinion, the personal and the political are the same, but, for the sake of this blog, I wanted to differentiate between the two. We, in the USA, just wrapped up the mid-term elections. Or, should I say, we’re in the midst of elections as our friends in Georgia are still in the heat of campaigns. The campaign…
Sixty Minutes and a Little White Pill
Seven years. It’s been seven years since I sat on that cushioned table, giving voice to the thoughts that had, so far, only existed in my head. That day changed the trajectory of my life. The doctor was kind and matter of fact. I was trying to hold myself together, speaking with as much confidence as I could, even though I knew my voice was quivering. She turned her computer screen to face me and I saw the little dot in the red zone. The little dot was supposed to be me. The red zone indicated severe anxiety. That’s where I lived my life until that point – in the land of severe anxiety. I left the clinic that day with a prescription in hand and hope for the future. Life got better after that. The last six weeks of my life felt a whole lot like those days before the clinic visit. Once again, I found myself sitting on my bed thinking, “something is wrong with me”. Once again, I suffered from panic attacks. Once again, anxiety was dominating my life. After seven years on medication, I paid another visit to the doctor this week to review the prescription….
For the Hard Days
It was the day you woke up asking God, “What’s wrong with me?” It was the moment the thoughts were overwhelming so you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep. It was the morning you spent trying to figure out why the panic was there at the same time you had to calm yourself. It was the day you googled “what is wrong with me?” It was the journal entry that made you realize even talking about the shame would leave you feeling shameful, so you decided to keep it to yourself. It was the thought “someone has it worse than me, I should be grateful” playing on repeat. Maybe it was the day that made you feel like even leaving bed was too much to ask. Those moments, those heavy days, they’re really hard. I know, I’ve been there. It feels like you’re lifting the weight of your entire life, feeling the decades stack upon each other as the future grows darker. You think to yourself, “I can’t keep going like this. If the rest is going to be this hard, I can’t keep going like this. I need help.” I wish I could make you see how…
Breaking Up is the Hardest Part
“I would have dumped you if you ever said that to me.” Those were the exact words I said when asked, “what would you have done if I ever said to you the things you say to yourself?” My response echoed in my head as my Husband continued to prove his point. “I would have dumped him,” I thought. “If he said any of the things I say to myself, I would have dumped him”. It was the next question I asked myself that felt like a personal breakthrough. “If I would have ended the relationship with him for treating me like this, why do I allow myself to treat me like this? Why do I allow these thoughts to play on repeat, and believe them like an absolute? I would never say these things to a friend and I would not allow them to be said to me. So, why, why do I treat myself worse than any other relationship I hold dear? Ouch. That one hurt. It was a breakthrough as I’d never taken a look at it that way, but it never feels good to know that the most painful relationship I really have… is with myself….