One of the most common comments I receive from the young audiences I speak to is that I’m one of few people who actually tell them it’s okay to do less. Today, I decided I wanted to send the same message to you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or under immense pressure to do it all and have all the answers, I’m here to give you permission to release. Please, breathe more and slow down. You don’t have to change the world or revolutionize your life in one day. It’s not possible. That takes time. There are, however, a few things you can do today to release pressure and create more ease. These are my go-to that I would love to share with you… 1. Write yourself a permission slip This is one of my favorite activities to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Remember when you were a kid and you had to carry that permission slip home from school to get your parents signature? Yes, I’m talking about that kind of permission slip. You no longer need the permission of a parent, but we tend to be pretty stingy about giving ourselves permission. If you need to…
I kid you not – there was once a time when a toaster was my symbol of success. It sounds ridiculous now but you might be surprised to find yourself relating to this. Just a few years ago, I sat at the bridal shower of a close family member and sat in awe as she opened generous gifts to fill her home. As we watched her open her gifts, I could only see the distance between where I was and where I wanted to be. She opened beautiful salad bowls, luxurious towels, expensive pots and pans, and… a toaster. “I don’t even have a toaster!” I muttered under my breath. My mom, sitting next to me, giggled to herself and gave me a loving look. At that time, I was living in a beautiful condo with another young woman who was much farther in her evolution into womanhood than I was. At the time, I was making a shift into living by myself for the first time in my life and felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I didn’t have. In my perspective, a toaster was the most basic of the kitchen supplies I didn’t have. The distance…
The most creative person I know, once again, blew my mind with her imagination and, well, creativity. If you’re looking for a cute way to decorate your home, wedding, special event, or if you’re heading into a parade this summer…I have just the idea for you! I’m really fortunate to have a mom who is endlessly inspiring in her innovation, decoration and personal style. Every Christmas she has the most beautiful home and every summer she has the most adorable back yard. This year, however, she didn’t want to invest in her go-to (geraniums) just to throw them away in the fall. What did she do instead? I have two words for you: Pool. Noodles. That’s right – my mother the creative genius made 4 beautiful bouquets to decorate the pool with POOL NOODLES. Is your jaw on the floor yet? If yes, read on. I have all details on how you can make these for yourself! Well, almost all of them. The key to these is to make them your own! Cost: Afternoon in front of tv to make 1 hr per pot to put together $8/noodle 30 to begin with – used…
Allow me to drop a truth bomb from the very beginning here: No relationship will ever be worth giving up any bit of yourself. Please know that I say this from a place of deep love. If you’re feeling like you’ve silenced yourself for too long, you’ve bent yourself to fit what you think will work better, you’ve ruined friendships, or sacrificed your own happiness to stay in something that feels familiar over making a scary change…. Girl, I’ve been there. In fact, my longest relationship came from doing exactly that. I choose “security” and “happiness” over myself. Throughout the time I was in that relationship (years) there were countless nights that I cried myself to sleep. Standing in the shower trying to convince myself I wasn’t crying, it was just the shower on my face. I used to scream out at the universe to tell me why I could count on disappointment, not my person. I was lonely in a relationship. I gave everything I had, whether it was a piece of my heart or my sanity, I was quick to give it up. At the end of it, I was miserable. I was heartbroken, confused, and disappointed. Ultimately, he…
When it comes to managing my anxiety, there are a few tricks I’ve tried over the years that have become reliable tools in my toolbox. For those of you who are learning to cope with your mental health or if you’re looking to learn more, I wanted to share my strategies with you! Medication Yes. That’s right I’m taking an anti-anxiety medication every day. I know there can still be a stigma for some around taking medication. I’ve heard the comments about being on medication for the rest of my life and, frankly, that question is in direct opposition to how I approach life. Managing anxiety and growing is about taking like one day at a time. Today, it works for me. Tomorrow might be different. I don’t know what my life will look like in 5 years so I can’t answer the “rest of my life” questions. What I know today is that I am happier and emotionally stable because my brain is regulated. Exercise – 30 minutes This is a practice. My body, my brain, and my stress levels all benefit from my choice to stay active and get my heart rate up for 30 minutes 5 days…
Here’s the simple reality: an exceptional life does not come from average habits. There are countless cliche phrases I could write right now that we’ve all heard repeatedly over our lives (what you really want is on the other side of your comfort zone…) but I won’t. You don’t get to finish the race, write the book, win the election, win the game, receive the recognition by living in the same habits you’ve been living in your entire life. The change you so dream of has remained a dream because you’ve never REALLY committed to two things: consistency and discipline. An exceptional life does not come from average habits. You WILL have to make sacrifices. You WILL have to step outside of your comfort zone. You WILL be challenged and tested and pushed. This is when most give up. How many hours do you think Lebron James has spent in the gym practicing? Taking the same shots over and over and over and over and over again. Is he immensely talented? Yes. Talent is only half of it. The rest comes from those 10,000 hours we speak of (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, google 10,000 hours to…
Take a look around the room you’re scrolling in, the train you’re riding, or the coffee shop you’re sipping in. What’s happening in that space? How is it filled? What does it sound like? Are you alone or do you feel surrounded? Do you feel the freedom of a space only occupied by your body, or do you feel the weight of centuries of cruelty, intolerance, and judgment filling the space? Are you comfortable? When you look around this space, do you feel familiar with the rules of that space? Do you know what to do, how to act, whom to talk to, or when to avert your eyes? What does it feel like to be occupying that space you’re in? Are you small or do you feel validated and unaware of your presence? Space is no small topic. Space is restricted, controlled, manipulated, and broken. What fills the space, what breaks the space, what causes the most pain in the space is created by man. Take, for example, space as a woman. A woman is constantly aware of the amount of space she is allowed to occupy and how quickly the space she occupies can be used against her….
I had never met the woman before, but she was wearing the white coat that gave her permission to tell me what to do. “There’s a significant change in the numbers here. Has there been a big change in your life?” My mind started running. There had been so many changes in the last year. I received my MA I got my anxiety under control I now feel joy more often than I feel panic I don’t feel horribly isolated all the time My dreams started coming to fruition A relationship ended Eating no longer makes me feel sick Perfection is no longer my driving desire She couldn’t see that. All she could see was the number growing and a percentage turning red. Our meeting lasted less than 15 minutes, but in that time she told me that my body wasn’t acceptable for my age group. “This is higher than I’d like it to be. I suggest seeing a nutritionist so this doesn’t continue.” Believe me, I haven’t been able to shake those words easily. Suddenly, my love and acceptance of my body shifted to thinking my body needed to be changed. My lifestyle needed to change so the “negative”…
I was seven years old the first time I felt I wasn’t good enough. A teacher came to my classroom to separate me from my friends. I was taken to a special, smaller room to receive help with my math and reading skills. I couldn’t articulate what was happening to me at the time, but I knew I was different. I remember feeling sad whenever I was removed from the class, taken away from all of my friends while they watched. When I got to the smaller room with the few other students who were there, I struggled. Reading was hard and basic math didn’t make sense to me. I knew I wasn’t good enough. That feeling followed me into my fourth grade class. I remember staring at a paper cup of brown beans. Today, I know it was a visual method to teach division. At the time, however, all I could do was stare at the paper cup and the brown beans in front of me wondering why I would never be smart enough to leave the low level math group. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why couldn’t I change? I sat there, praying…
When you’re chasing your dream career, it can be difficult to see a clear path at times. Maybe you’re in a rut at your job, maybe you didn’t get the promotion you wanted or maybe you’re questioning whether your goals are attainable. I still have my doubts on occasion. In these situations, I find advice from others is helpful. But pressure is not. It’s an easy trap to fall into; giving into pressure to maybe get ahead in our career and acting in certain ways that we truly don’t believe in. I’ll give you an example. Being in television, looks always come into play. For me, there’s always a pressure to be the best presenter out there. In the looks part of it, in my mind, that always meant having perfect hair, never having a pimple on my face and wearing the right makeup. Over the course of my career I’ve worked with managers, consultants and makeup artists to achieve what I thought was my best look. But what I found is my best look at each time was in many ways brought on by pressure of what they thought was my best look. “Your hair is too long, you…
I Hereby Give You Permission To Do Less
One of the most common comments I receive from the young audiences I speak to is that I’m one of few people who actually tell them it’s okay to do less. Today, I decided I wanted to send the same message to you. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or under immense pressure to do it all and have all the answers, I’m here to give you permission to release. Please, breathe more and slow down. You don’t have to change the world or revolutionize your life in one day. It’s not possible. That takes time. There are, however, a few things you can do today to release pressure and create more ease. These are my go-to that I would love to share with you… 1. Write yourself a permission slip This is one of my favorite activities to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Remember when you were a kid and you had to carry that permission slip home from school to get your parents signature? Yes, I’m talking about that kind of permission slip. You no longer need the permission of a parent, but we tend to be pretty stingy about giving ourselves permission. If you need to…
Toasting to Success
I kid you not – there was once a time when a toaster was my symbol of success. It sounds ridiculous now but you might be surprised to find yourself relating to this. Just a few years ago, I sat at the bridal shower of a close family member and sat in awe as she opened generous gifts to fill her home. As we watched her open her gifts, I could only see the distance between where I was and where I wanted to be. She opened beautiful salad bowls, luxurious towels, expensive pots and pans, and… a toaster. “I don’t even have a toaster!” I muttered under my breath. My mom, sitting next to me, giggled to herself and gave me a loving look. At that time, I was living in a beautiful condo with another young woman who was much farther in her evolution into womanhood than I was. At the time, I was making a shift into living by myself for the first time in my life and felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I didn’t have. In my perspective, a toaster was the most basic of the kitchen supplies I didn’t have. The distance…
How To: Make Your Own Noodle Blooms!
The most creative person I know, once again, blew my mind with her imagination and, well, creativity. If you’re looking for a cute way to decorate your home, wedding, special event, or if you’re heading into a parade this summer…I have just the idea for you! I’m really fortunate to have a mom who is endlessly inspiring in her innovation, decoration and personal style. Every Christmas she has the most beautiful home and every summer she has the most adorable back yard. This year, however, she didn’t want to invest in her go-to (geraniums) just to throw them away in the fall. What did she do instead? I have two words for you: Pool. Noodles. That’s right – my mother the creative genius made 4 beautiful bouquets to decorate the pool with POOL NOODLES. Is your jaw on the floor yet? If yes, read on. I have all details on how you can make these for yourself! Well, almost all of them. The key to these is to make them your own! Cost: Afternoon in front of tv to make 1 hr per pot to put together $8/noodle 30 to begin with – used…
Why I Stayed
Allow me to drop a truth bomb from the very beginning here: No relationship will ever be worth giving up any bit of yourself. Please know that I say this from a place of deep love. If you’re feeling like you’ve silenced yourself for too long, you’ve bent yourself to fit what you think will work better, you’ve ruined friendships, or sacrificed your own happiness to stay in something that feels familiar over making a scary change…. Girl, I’ve been there. In fact, my longest relationship came from doing exactly that. I choose “security” and “happiness” over myself. Throughout the time I was in that relationship (years) there were countless nights that I cried myself to sleep. Standing in the shower trying to convince myself I wasn’t crying, it was just the shower on my face. I used to scream out at the universe to tell me why I could count on disappointment, not my person. I was lonely in a relationship. I gave everything I had, whether it was a piece of my heart or my sanity, I was quick to give it up. At the end of it, I was miserable. I was heartbroken, confused, and disappointed. Ultimately, he…
My Go-To Strategies for Managing Anxiety
When it comes to managing my anxiety, there are a few tricks I’ve tried over the years that have become reliable tools in my toolbox. For those of you who are learning to cope with your mental health or if you’re looking to learn more, I wanted to share my strategies with you! Medication Yes. That’s right I’m taking an anti-anxiety medication every day. I know there can still be a stigma for some around taking medication. I’ve heard the comments about being on medication for the rest of my life and, frankly, that question is in direct opposition to how I approach life. Managing anxiety and growing is about taking like one day at a time. Today, it works for me. Tomorrow might be different. I don’t know what my life will look like in 5 years so I can’t answer the “rest of my life” questions. What I know today is that I am happier and emotionally stable because my brain is regulated. Exercise – 30 minutes This is a practice. My body, my brain, and my stress levels all benefit from my choice to stay active and get my heart rate up for 30 minutes 5 days…
Here’s the simple reality: an exceptional life does not come from average habits. There are countless cliche phrases I could write right now that we’ve all heard repeatedly over our lives (what you really want is on the other side of your comfort zone…) but I won’t. You don’t get to finish the race, write the book, win the election, win the game, receive the recognition by living in the same habits you’ve been living in your entire life. The change you so dream of has remained a dream because you’ve never REALLY committed to two things: consistency and discipline. An exceptional life does not come from average habits. You WILL have to make sacrifices. You WILL have to step outside of your comfort zone. You WILL be challenged and tested and pushed. This is when most give up. How many hours do you think Lebron James has spent in the gym practicing? Taking the same shots over and over and over and over and over again. Is he immensely talented? Yes. Talent is only half of it. The rest comes from those 10,000 hours we speak of (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, google 10,000 hours to…
Space.
Take a look around the room you’re scrolling in, the train you’re riding, or the coffee shop you’re sipping in. What’s happening in that space? How is it filled? What does it sound like? Are you alone or do you feel surrounded? Do you feel the freedom of a space only occupied by your body, or do you feel the weight of centuries of cruelty, intolerance, and judgment filling the space? Are you comfortable? When you look around this space, do you feel familiar with the rules of that space? Do you know what to do, how to act, whom to talk to, or when to avert your eyes? What does it feel like to be occupying that space you’re in? Are you small or do you feel validated and unaware of your presence? Space is no small topic. Space is restricted, controlled, manipulated, and broken. What fills the space, what breaks the space, what causes the most pain in the space is created by man. Take, for example, space as a woman. A woman is constantly aware of the amount of space she is allowed to occupy and how quickly the space she occupies can be used against her….
Bigger Than My Body
I had never met the woman before, but she was wearing the white coat that gave her permission to tell me what to do. “There’s a significant change in the numbers here. Has there been a big change in your life?” My mind started running. There had been so many changes in the last year. I received my MA I got my anxiety under control I now feel joy more often than I feel panic I don’t feel horribly isolated all the time My dreams started coming to fruition A relationship ended Eating no longer makes me feel sick Perfection is no longer my driving desire She couldn’t see that. All she could see was the number growing and a percentage turning red. Our meeting lasted less than 15 minutes, but in that time she told me that my body wasn’t acceptable for my age group. “This is higher than I’d like it to be. I suggest seeing a nutritionist so this doesn’t continue.” Believe me, I haven’t been able to shake those words easily. Suddenly, my love and acceptance of my body shifted to thinking my body needed to be changed. My lifestyle needed to change so the “negative”…
Where Does It Hurt?
I was seven years old the first time I felt I wasn’t good enough. A teacher came to my classroom to separate me from my friends. I was taken to a special, smaller room to receive help with my math and reading skills. I couldn’t articulate what was happening to me at the time, but I knew I was different. I remember feeling sad whenever I was removed from the class, taken away from all of my friends while they watched. When I got to the smaller room with the few other students who were there, I struggled. Reading was hard and basic math didn’t make sense to me. I knew I wasn’t good enough. That feeling followed me into my fourth grade class. I remember staring at a paper cup of brown beans. Today, I know it was a visual method to teach division. At the time, however, all I could do was stare at the paper cup and the brown beans in front of me wondering why I would never be smart enough to leave the low level math group. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why couldn’t I change? I sat there, praying…
Strive for Greatness by Being You
When you’re chasing your dream career, it can be difficult to see a clear path at times. Maybe you’re in a rut at your job, maybe you didn’t get the promotion you wanted or maybe you’re questioning whether your goals are attainable. I still have my doubts on occasion. In these situations, I find advice from others is helpful. But pressure is not. It’s an easy trap to fall into; giving into pressure to maybe get ahead in our career and acting in certain ways that we truly don’t believe in. I’ll give you an example. Being in television, looks always come into play. For me, there’s always a pressure to be the best presenter out there. In the looks part of it, in my mind, that always meant having perfect hair, never having a pimple on my face and wearing the right makeup. Over the course of my career I’ve worked with managers, consultants and makeup artists to achieve what I thought was my best look. But what I found is my best look at each time was in many ways brought on by pressure of what they thought was my best look. “Your hair is too long, you…